Dear Fuckface Fans,

I hope you’re all doing well and managing to survive without Fuckface’s regular Blogging!

As I mentioned in my last two entries, I’ve recently been forced to examine my soul and subconscious for clues as to why I’ve recently dedicated over a year of my life to writing, producing and directing a film about an upstart Zoophile-rights organization. Obviously, there were the creative challenges, as well as the attraction of an as-of-yet unsaturated subject matter, but how on earth did I get to this topic to begin with?

I recently remembered a relationship I had in my late teens which I think laid the foundation for this project. The reason I want to share it with you is that I think almost any human can relate to these feelings at some point or another.

Yes, professionally I had to support myself by any means necessary, and that included a lengthy stint as a gigolo (for women only). But in between all of my professional dates, I did manage to experiment with my own feelings and preferences. It took me about 30 years of life to find my true big love, but until that time I searched every nook and cranny that was at my disposal. One of these crannies was a not-really-super-model, but a model nonetheless. She was gorgeous. Had she been a bit taller and a bit more breasted, she would have graced the great runways of the world, and would be familiar to you all. But she wasn’t taller or more breasted, and, thus, was confined to print. Nevertheless, she was beautiful enough to turn every head she passed, which, in my late teens, made me quite proud to have her on my arm.

The catch was that her intelligence was sub-human. And the surprise for me was that it didn’t bother me at all! She was able to speak, and that’s what convinced me that she wasn’t an actual ape, but her thought-patterns and areas of interest were stuck somewhere along the ape-to-human evolutionary scale. I even considered presenting her to various Darwinian scientists who are constantly being challenged by creationists screaming, ‘Why don’t we see monkeys giving birth to humans today?’, etc. This B-Model of mine would have silenced all those arguments, as she was definitive proof that there was indeed a slow progression between apes and humans. Our relationship didn’t last long enough for this plan to materialize, and, thus, she never became a Darwinian poster-girl, and just continued pushing cosmetics, hair-products, etc.

I remember thinking at the time, albeit more superficially than now, that this relationship certainly bordered on zoophilia. I had to admit to myself that even if she’d been less intelligent than she was, it wouldn’t really have mattered much to me. The sex was perfect, and we even enjoyed taking very silent walks together. My clients provided me with ample stimulating conversation, and I was more than glad to be able to indulge in some quiet romance every now and then.

This experience, coupled with my recent year-long obsession with the topic, forced me to contemplate the fate of the very first humans ever. If we believe the Darwinian view, namely, that species are constantly mutating and producing new varieties waiting for natural selection’s stamp of approval, then in the very early days of humanity, and, indeed, even today, the borders between species are not very firm.

Imagine the very first humans, i.e., the very first creatures to be able to speak… Aside from being very lonely and not having very many people to speak to, they would probably have to be defined as ‘zoophiles’, since they were most likely sexually attracted to their speechless neighbors, and probably indulged in whatever sexual opportunities arose with them. The first humans most likely copulated with their Neanderthal neighbors, and one of the cameramen who worked on COMING SOON claimed to have read a National Geographic article proving that theory. The question is, at exactly what point does a new species become its own category? When does an ingenious Neanderthal cease to be a Neanderthal and become part of the next category called ‘Humans’? Does it have to utter one word, or two? Or perhaps seventy three words?

My favorite book ever is Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra, which is full of references to the ‘Overman’, or ‘Uber-mentch’. The Nazis took advantage of the fact that very few people actually read these books and were successfully able to convince the masses that Nietzsche considered Aryans to be the new Overmen. Whoever actually reads the book, however, immediately realizes the absurdity of this claim, and, thus, I won’t go into it here. But Nietzsche clearly explains his notion of the ‘Overman’ as something which we should all aspire to become! It’s not an existing race at all, but rather something more evolved than humans. He argues that if we evolved from apes to where we are now, why can’t we keep evolving to something much higher. He stresses over and over again that this evolution is open to all races and has nothing to do with Aryan superiority. (Nazis would have killed me for many reasons, but they can’t stop me from loving Nietzsche!)

If Nietzsche is right, and logic is certainly on his side, then we’re still evolving today. Amidst the billions of humans roaming the planet, there must be a certain percentage that have mutated in different directions. Natural selection will kill out the ineffective ones, but some of these mutants will survive, and slowly, through many stages of natural selection, spawn a new species which doesn’t have a title yet (just as the first speaking apes didn’t know that they would one day be called ‘Humans’) but certainly belong to a different category than humans. Once they grow numerous enough, they’ll probably start keeping humans in zoos and circuses, and if any of them become sexually attracted to humans, they may very well be sneered at by their peers, just like zoophiles are sneered at today.

This is certainly a tricky concept, but it’s almost certainly very real. The boundaries between humans and other species – both inferior as well as superior – are very grey and gradual. The trickiest part is that you never know who’s who. The average Neanderthal had no idea as to what the first speakers were speaking about. And most humans have no idea what their intellectually superior (‘mutated’) neighbors are talking about (and maybe they don’t even talk, maybe they communicate in an entirely new way). To think that we have evolved to the maximum of nature’s potential is pretty absurd. My own gut feeling is that most intelligent humans are literal ‘apes’ in comparison to future species. Just consider how miniscule the greatest human memory is in comparison to your average computer. Isn’t it possible that future species may even put computers to shame?

Haven’t you ever looked at the human mainstream and wondered, ‘Am I really part of this species?’ Haven’t you ever looked at a human beside you on the subway and wondered, ‘Are we really part of the same species?’ I’ve had many moments in life when I felt like a mutant waiting to be naturally selected. Am I alone? Hawk Alfredson has some of the trippiest opinions about himself and I suggest you contact him directly for more info!

I feel as though humans are just a tiny step along the evolutionary line, and to define all of nature through human eyes would be as short-sighed as the great jumbles of the Dark-Ages. I see all of nature as one big ever-evolving and constantly-overlapping family whose individual members posses various skills, instincts, levels of intelligence, etc. Some members are more similar to each other than others, but I find it very self-destructive to establish insurmountable barriers between the various sexes, races, ages, species, etc.


Sir Tijn Po

*In 22 (2006 according to the Jesus system) I was invited by a writer of some intelligence, talent and repute to take over his daily blog for a while, as he traveled through Europe. I accepted the invitation for three entries, since he was a friend of a good friend, but since he and his wife treated me like shit – they just wanted to get to Švankmajer through me, but when they found out that he was on holiday and I wouldn’t be able to introduce them, they and their kindness just disappeared without a trace – I wouldn’t want to give him any publicity here, and I’ll simply refer to him as ‘Fuckface’.